Sunday, August 15, 2010

Love Until It Hurts

"I have found the paradox,
that if you love until it hurts,
there can be no more hurt, only more love."
- Mother Teresa

This pic makes me smile. This night was filled with some mediocre Sangria, yet was fun nonetheless. Tay tay is throwing it up on the left and I'm attempting to seduce with my eyes and questioning face. Fail.
So I've decided life would be better if I did everything in this dress. you know it would just make everything so much easier to handle. For instance, if i was walking to class and tripped and landed on my face. it would be okay for the very reason that at least I would look somewhat graceful as the chiffon layers of my dress fell in the wind, and then with my luck, probably would fall above my head. regardless. at least i'd look bitchin'. (i WILL make bitchin' work this year)
I think this is a beautiful reminder that we are who we want to be. there's no reason for us to be upset, annoyed, or unhappy due to others. We live our own life and we create our own life.
My current background! Designed by moi. Obsessed with the pic of the two super chic girls in the center... and the quote at the bottom,
which I'll post someday soon.


Okay so I saw this picture... well, I saw this girl, I believe on and never saved the pic. I've had this photo engraved in my head & ITS DRIVEN ME CRAZY! I finally found the girl again, after looking through my many blog addictions in their posts starting back in January.
thank the Lord!

MK: hippie chic.

No. words.

Once upon a time... in the Dallas/Fort Worth Airport. There were two insanely chic girls that oozed with total and complete coolness. At that moment I decided that I WILL be them. I even wrote a note about it in my iPhone, which means it's for serious. Sooooo 3 months later, pretty much the exact same as I was that day, but IT WILL HAPPEN. Once money begins to magically appear on my doorstep, I will go and buy an insane wardrobe and chicness will forever be.

today's thought: new beginnings. so last year for a birthday gift I asked for this particular gold necklace from family members. I had seen it at the Yoga Studio I go to in Tulsa and thought it was the perfect size, perfect length, and perfect touch for everyday wear. If you know me, you should know exactly what I'm talking about... I hardly ever take it off. So.... when I read the yoga zen info on it, it talked about how the symbol on it was a Lotus, and that it symbolizes "new beginnings". (very fitting for a birthday, which for me is like New Years). So here I am again, exactly 1 week after my 21st birthday. As we all know, "Do you feel any older?" is the question the birthday girl (or boy) gets asked the second the clock turns from 11:59 to 12:00. And to be honest- I do. I feel significantly older. I don't know if it's the fact that I spent the summer in New York and learned I'm much more independent than I ever thought I was, or the fact that I finally don't care, or at least not as much, about others opinion of me. Or the fact that this year has been pretty much a shit hole neatly wrapped in a shiny box. If you had asked me this time last year (when I was celebrating in lovely London town) if I felt older, the answer would have been a definite "um no. am I supposed to?" this year though, this year I do. I have to give myself a pat on the back for facing the obstacles I have had this year with whatever strength I had, or whatever strength I didn't have (a.k.a. strength given to me from above). Because there were times that I honestly didn't know how I would have any more courage, strength, or tiny bit of optimism to wake up and put a smile on my face. You may have no idea what I'm talking about, and if you don't, you're blessed. Ignorance is bliss. Anyways, I think through this past year I really have learned what's important to me and that no matter the circumstance God is good. God is really really good. He has taught me this year that I don't have to know the answer. I don't need to know when He will answer my prayers, I don't need to know when or how He will bring people into my life, I don't even need to know why He has, I don't need to know where I will be when I graduate, or even what I'm eating for breakfast tomorrow (which the answer 9.5/10 times will always be yogurt), but truly I DON'T NEED TO KNOW... because I will ALWAYS know that no matter what--my God will be there and my God knows... & that alone will give me enough courage to face tomorrow and enough strength to keep going. So as this "new year" begins, and as I feel significantly older, I'm excited to see what unfolds this year and what things will happen, that I don't even know.

Song of the day: Draw Your Swords by: Angus & Julia Stone. I've been obsessed recently, as in the past 5 months haha, with A&J.S. I don't know whether it's their insanely smoky sound or the fact that I relate to their lyrics almost as much as Coldplay (almost). Regardless, they've been blowing up my iPhone.... iPod died last christmas r.i.p....and they should be blowing up yours!

: love, me

Monday, February 15, 2010

delicious ambiguity.

dear lovelys :

"life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. delicious ambiguity." - gilda. radner-

I'm not quite sure how i want to do this whole blog thing. but i'm just going to take it one day @ a time. first things first: lets add some color to spice this up.

current obsessions:1. this picture. i love EVERYTHING about it. it's beautiful.
(you will learn i am obsessed with the olsens. specifically ashley, but mk rocks my world as well)
2. small potted plants. i recently purchased my baby jericho. he's a beaut. & has a wonderful little pot home . . . kinda like the above ones.
3. i strongly believe all females are princesses. & some males who are gender confused..4. this pillow. no 1 reason: it's in french. (i love ALL things french. yes i said all, don't test me) no 2 reason: it makes me smile. thats all.

5. just because.

todays thought: lent. lent takes place from ash wednesday . . . aka 2 days from now. and ends on Easter sunday, april 4th (this year) . . . 46 days away. the purpose behind this super long amount of time and struggle (for some) is to purify of sin & selfishenss through self denial & prayer... although i think adding something to your daily life can be just as difficult. background meaning: to get our lives & self focused on God, His will, & His coming. so this year... i'm giving up sweets (except coffee. i know that would be the hardest. but coffee helps me be productive) & i'm adding focusing on God & not relying on myself, my emotions, or my friends/family to get me through the next month+ until easter. wish me luck. & obviously keep me in your prayers.

song of the day: watch me fall apart by: sarah jaffe - why? b/c although it's somewhat depressing. it describes my mood. my thoughts, etc. not that i'm depressed, just more of contemplative and questioning of everything for the last several months.

: love me